Posts filed under ‘Jeremy Turner’

Not So Camouflaged Humour

Greetings from Wichita, Kansas!  In our social group, we often repeat lines from movies and TV Shows.  Lines from The Office, Seinfeld, Office Space, Super Bad, and a little bit of The Flight of the Conchords all make it into circulation.  The references are pretty fun and they don’t really get old.  Tonight I have two tales of repetitive humour that doesn’t age as well. 

In high school, my friend Jeremy decided to have a yard sale.  After posting a series of signs around his neighborhood, it started to rain so he had to move everything to the garage.  Parked in the garage was some classic, restored car that belonged to Jeremy’s father.  I can’t remember the make.  Anyway, throughout the day, Jeremy said a number of shoppers would come in and scope out the inventory and then make a joke, “How much for the [car]?  Heh heh heh.”

Jeremy reported that each comedian seemed rather pleased with his joke and had no idea that many, many others said the exact same thing earlier in the day.

And now I have a contemporary memory!  A couple of weeks ago, I used a Gap gift card to buy myself a pair of camouflaged pants.  This increases my already formidable inventory of drab green garments.  I am quite pleased with them and the ratio of the frequency I’ve worn them versus the frequency I’ve washed them may be disturbing to some readers.  So moving on…


New pants, pictured in a hotel bathroom in Wichita, Kansas

Almost instantly, Sean starting cracking jokes.  Stuff like, “Where are your legs?  I can’t see your legs.”  I figured it was Sean being Sean.

This past weekend, I went to Charlotte, North Carolina to visit friends and watch the LSU-VT slaughter.  There, a friend a whole 2 1/2 hours away, made a similiar comment about my pants.

So Monday, I fly to Wichita.  I’m 1000 miles away from home now.  I walk into the hotel and run into a colleague from Texas who promptly announces, “Vicky, I can only see you from the waist up!”

Apparently, camouflage pants are amusing nation-wide.  If you feel this is a tidbit of wit you’d like to utter, never fear.  I remain undeterred!  I expect to wear the pants frequently this fall.  If our paths cross, you’ll get your chance.

That is, if you can see me!

September 12, 2007 at 12:44 am 21 comments

Counting Crows -> Jeremy Turner

Last Thursday night, I met Sean and some friends out at PK's for pizza.  As we ate, I heard Counting Crow's "Mr. Jones" come on the jukebox behind the sounds of chatty crowds and the clank of billiard balls.  I focused on the music, the other distractions fading away, and as I always do when I encounter Counting Crows, I thought about Jeremy Turner.

  • HFSTival 
    I remembered HFStival 1994 when Jeremy and I were watching the band perform.  The crowd was very enthusiatic and swaying back and forth to the songs."Wait a second," I said, "My feet aren't touching the ground!"

    "Mine either!" Jeremy laughed.

    It was a disconcerting feeling for me– to be moving about with no control.  "I don't like this," I said, "Let's get out of here."

    "Okay!" Jeremy said.

    A few minutes passed and we were still in the same predictament.  It turns out it is quite difficult to leave when you're feet aren't touching the ground!  🙂

  • A cappella Round Here
    But mostly, I thought of the times were Jeremy would sing just for the sake of singing.  One evening in particular, I remember a group of us walking down a road in the late, late evening.  Out of nowhere, Jeremy sung Round Here from start to finish, accompanied only by the sounds of summer insects and the darkness of the night.  It is that rendition that remains my favorite (even over the original) and that rendition I will always recall.

Back at PKs, someone started to talk to me and my attention returned to the present.

"You're thinking of Jeremy," Sean said, matter of factly. 

I had to smile.  Sean has never met Jeremy Turner and in fact, I haven't seen or heard from Jeremy in nearly a decade.  But Sean knew.  From all my stories, my own oral traditions, Sean knew exactly what I was thinking.

June 25, 2006 at 3:14 pm 7 comments

Sign Vandalism

Recently at Carolyn's 30th Birthday party, a handful of us reminisced about the "We Have No Balls Story".  A number of years ago, maybe even a decade ago, we were driving to Ocean City, Maryland when we passed a gas station with a marquee sign that proudly proclaimed:

WE HAVE
SNOW
BALLS!

"Wouldn't it be funny if the S and the W fell off?" someone asked (I believe it was Jeremy Turner).

Well, a few days later, on our way back we used team work to facilitate that exact scenario.  A couple of people went inside the gas station to serve as a distraction.  If I recall correctly, the diversion featured Clint inquiring why Ho Hos were in the same aisle as a seemingly unrelated product.  Meanwhile the others were outside trying to figure out a way to knock off the S and the W.  It turned out that task was quite easy.  Laying next to the sign was a long, metal pole …made especially for marquee letter management!  When we all met back in the car, the sign was modified:

WE HAVE
NO
BALLS!

"It looks like they are trying to emphasize the 'NO' because it is on its own line!" Chad pointed out as we all laughed.

We drove back and forth by the gas station a couple of times to admire our work.

Okay, now flash forward a number of years!  Yesterday at work, the IT department moved some old boxes into the hallway.  Sometimes it is ambigious whether something is actually trash.  Lucky for the IT team, there was a white board directly over the boxes.  So they wrote a note so there would be no misunderstanding:

The Items Below
ARE
Trash

And they drew an arrow pointing down to the boxes.

I saw that sign in the morning and didn't really give it much attention.  Right around lunch time, though, the sign was much more notable.  Someone printed out side by side pictures of our IT guys and taped it to the white board directly under the arrow!  (Here's a fuzzy picture from my cellphone)

And like our sign modification years ago, the emphasis of a word on its own line, made the message all the more entertaining! 

April 20, 2006 at 11:06 pm 3 comments


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