Beagles are Bad…
December 9, 2007 at 3:43 pm 20 comments
….and marketers know it!
Yesterday, Sean and I were perusing PetSmart and we went into the aisle that focused on housetraining, odor control and carpet cleanup. It was hilarious how many of the products had a beagle pictured on the front. It’s like… they knew beagles are stubborn and notoriously hard to house train.
Carpet Shampoo
Hardwood Floors Stain and Odor Remover
OVERSIZED Training Pads (That’s how bad beagles are!)
Diapers
Then we went into the behavioral problems aisle and lo and behold they had a bark collar with a beagle picture on the front. It’s almost as if, they knew how loud beagles’ aroos can be.
Bark Control Collar!
And, possibly recognizing that beagles like to roll in stuff to cover up their scent (like dead turkey wings… or poo… or poo… or poo), the shampoo aisle sports beagles on bottles.
Shampoo
The beagle bashing did not end at PetSmart. Last night I was sifting through a ThinkGeek catalog and I ran across this Humping USB Dog. They have two types– a rottweiller… and a beagle. It’s almost as if they knew Henry and how even though he is neutered, he still loves to hump:
A beagle humping?!?!?!
It definitely takes a special type of person to love a beagle, but there is one more aspect about the breed that perhaps the package designers recognize most of all:
Beagles can be so damn cute.
Henry as a puppy
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TGAW 
1.
HokieTT | December 9, 2007 at 5:40 pm
In the 35 minutes since you posted it, Henry has rolled in a dead animal and stinks like hell. I think you need to give him a bath b/c the whole room smells like a rotting corpse. Bad Henry!
2.
tgaw | December 9, 2007 at 5:59 pm
Bath is complete and it wasn’t dead animal. Or at least it wasn’t *just* dead animal. He was covered in caked poop. After the first washing, the scent was still very strong. At first I suspected his collar, but that wasn’t the culprit. It turned out, he had a repository of the poop stored inside his right ear. So I had to scrub feces out of his ear.
I wish I kept a tally of the amount of poop I have scrubbed off Henry. It would be a large list.
3.
Katie | December 9, 2007 at 9:57 pm
Henry was a very cute puppy! So funny that so many products had beagles on them.
4.
geekhiker | December 9, 2007 at 11:45 pm
*sigh* Just makes me want a dog all the more.
The picture of Henry as a puppy is awful darn cute…
5.
tgaw | December 10, 2007 at 12:46 am
@geekhiker – If it helps, you are welcome to come to Virginia and scrub poop off of Henry, anytime you want! 🙂
6.
Aaron | December 10, 2007 at 11:19 am
Notoriously difficult to get to shut-up, too.
You’ve got to be more than patient and forgiving to own a Beagle.
7.
Violet | December 30, 2009 at 1:34 pm
That is absolutely not true!!!! None of this. I have raised Beagles my entire adult life. I have had blue ribbon champions and top notch hunters as well as lovable family members. I’ve never had any trouble house breaking and none of my beagles chew stuff or howl. And I’ve never crated any of them. They are happy, well adjusted and very lovable and smart. However, I understand the breed. They are bred for hunting so they have a lot of stamina and need lots of exercise and play time. Whenever I’ve gotten a new beagle, (young or old) I take maternity leave (literally) to help them adjust, bond, establish a time schedule for themselves, learn their feeding times, house training, etc. I’ve never had trouble with any of my beagles but I have seen lots of ill equipped and well meaning people get bealges and then decide months down the road they cannot handle it and throw it away to an animal shelter, etc. When people meet me with my current beagle, Sadie, they say they want a beagle and I tell them no you do not, they are a smart, lovable edition to any family if you understand they are a high maintenance dog. If you want a dog that will sit by the couch with you, get a lab.
FYI – Dogs sniff each other’s butts to say hello, like to roll in smelly things, and eat cat poop because they are dogs.
8.
Carolyn | December 30, 2009 at 2:08 pm
Hi Violet,
Aaron said: “You’ve got to be more than patient and forgiving to own a Beagle.”
You said: “Whenever I’ve gotten a new beagle, (young or old) I take maternity leave (literally) to help them adjust, bond, establish a time schedule for themselves, learn their feeding times, house training, etc.” and you also say “they are a smart, lovable edition to any family if you understand they are a high maintenance dog. If you want a dog that will sit by the couch with you, get a lab. ”
It sounds to me like you are agreeing that Beagles can be a notorious breed for the average Joe.
I know Henry the Beagle, and he is an awesome dog. But even if he has some faults (barking, humping, rolling in poo and dead animals), my sister loves him very much. He is a very happy part of their household which consists of 2 dogs, and 3 cats, and 2 humans.
9.
Clint | December 10, 2007 at 12:18 pm
Agreed. You want something cute that takes some patience and forgiveness? A spouse has much higher dividends, and doesn’t roll in poo.
10.
Gus the Beagle | December 10, 2007 at 2:08 pm
Hey, we beagles are not bad. We are just VERY GOOD models. Check out my blog at gusthebeagle.blogspot.com
11.
tgaw | December 10, 2007 at 5:46 pm
@ClintJCL – I am sure some spouses roll in poo. There are so many ways to express love, it’s hard to choose one. Some people like to kiss. Some people like to hug. Some lesbians like to eat each other’s…
12.
Clint | December 10, 2007 at 7:32 pm
LOL
13.
HokieTT | December 11, 2007 at 10:35 am
Some beagles bark ‘I love you,’ some even aroo it out, some beagles puke semi-digested shit into each other’s mouth!
What’s that?
It’s a distended anus.
Oh.
14.
wendy | January 25, 2008 at 2:04 pm
I have a beagle his name is charlie and he is the best damn dog I’ve ever had. He doesn’t do anything beagles are notorious for. Never barks, never pees on the rug, goes potty outside. He amuses us by throwing his food in the air and catching it. he even sleeps in bed with us with no problem!
15.
tgaw | January 26, 2008 at 11:38 am
@Wendy-
Thanks for commenting! It sounds like you adore your beagle and it sounds like you have good cause! You should get a video of the food catching and put it up on YouTube.
16.
HokieTT | January 28, 2008 at 8:45 am
It’s the beagle puppy dance!
http://www.petshophome.com/2008/01/28/beagle-puppy/
17.
Anne | December 30, 2009 at 8:15 pm
Violet and Carolyn are 2 years too late. It is funny how you have comments from 2007, 2008, 2009, but they are all made in December and January. Don’t people read your blogs in the summer?
18.
Bam | March 2, 2010 at 10:06 am
Hi,
Now im scared! My boyfriend and I have just bought a Beagle Puppy that we are waiting to collect him in 8 weeks!!!! weve done the research and are prepared for hard work but heck…. now im scared!! Im hoping we will love ‘Ralph’ even when he is covered in poop – which it seems will be most of the time. We are booked into puppy school and hope we can get our new relationship with our new family member off to a good start. Sounds like its more luck than judgement though!
19.
tgaw | March 2, 2010 at 11:17 am
Bam,
Thanks for commenting on my blog. I wanted to write you to let you know that despite their hunter’s instincts, beagles are amazing dogs. Beagles are natural pack animals so they like to be near other things. That means they are natural cuddlers. You will love your new puppy more than you can ever know and it in return will love you dearly. My beagle has his short comings, but I wouldn’t trade him in for anything. With that, I share some more pictures:
20.
slsppy squirrel | August 12, 2013 at 7:43 pm
SLAPPY LOVES BEAGLES!