The Goatse Christmas Cookie

November 25, 2007 at 12:06 am 11 comments

This year I got to participate in my family’s Black Friday tradition of decorating Christmas Cookies.  As I’ve mentioned before, the results of our efforts aren’t your usual festive designs.  In past years, we’ve had cookies that read “BEOTCH”, cookies that read “JACKASS” and tons of mangled cookies covered in blood. 

This year started off innocently enough.  Justin Girton, a first timer, was given the honor of cutting out the first cookie.  He took some pause to review and select just the right cutter for the 2007 Kickoff.


The selections Justin got to choose from

It took some time, but Justin finally selected a donkey.  He pushed the cutter into the sugar cookie dough and we were on our way!


Justin cuts the first cookie!  (Photo by Aaron Evans)

It didn’t take long before the uh…creativity… in the room started to flow.  This year, Carolyn brought along a special request from a friend.  He wanted to have a “butt” cookie.  As is a good idea with any design request, this cookie coveter provider a drawing of exactly what he wanted:


You should always draw out the type of cookie you want

And so our team did what we could, producing a number of butts.  I believe Carolyn’s friend would be pleased with some of the results:


Finished project and original specifications (Photo AND cookie by Aaron Evans)

When it came to icing time, we were left with the question, “How does one decorate a butt cookie?”  Welp, it turns out there isn’t one answer.  We had icing tattoos, icing thongs and then some convenient chocolate icing made it easy to… well, make a mess.


Butt cookie with a red icing tattoo.  (Photo AND cookie by Aaron Evans)


A butt cookie with a thin, white thong


A butt cookie decorated with… chocolate icing. (Photo by Aaron Evans)

It is safe to say 2007’s cookie decorating experience was already a little racy.  Well, then someone (who wishes to remain nameless) took it much, much further (Click More to Continue):


The Goatse Christmas Cookie (Photo by Aaron Evans)

Entry filed under: Aaron Evans, butt, Carolyn L, Christmas, Cookies, goatse, Justin Girton, Sean. Tags: .

links for 2007-11-21 Bye Bye Hair!

11 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Katie  |  November 25, 2007 at 7:42 am

    excellent! I tried to imagine my family doing this, I couldn’t. My grandmother would keel over.

    Reply
  • 2. geekhiker  |  November 25, 2007 at 12:15 pm

    Wrong. So very, very wrong. And yet, I can’t stop giggling… 😀

    Reply
  • 3. Clint  |  November 25, 2007 at 1:37 pm

    Awesome.

    Reply
  • 4. Anne Sawyer  |  November 26, 2007 at 11:55 am

    @Clint. Where were you? You should have been here.

    Reply
  • 5. Clint  |  November 26, 2007 at 12:39 pm

    Meh.

    Reply
  • 6. tgaw  |  November 27, 2007 at 1:43 am

    Hey Everyone! Look at my mother! She picked up on directing comments to specific individuals with the @ sign. Go Mom!

    Reply
  • 7. tgaw  |  November 27, 2007 at 2:09 am

    It looks like we have a happy “customer”. Carolyn’s friend who requested the butt cookie was pleased with the outcome:

    “Those are the most amazing cookies I’ve ever seen! YAY! I can’t believe that you actually made goatse look delicious. Gross! Yum! Gross! Yum! My brain’s about to explode! “

    Reply
  • 8. Aaron  |  November 28, 2007 at 11:32 am

    Now that’s original!

    Is it inappropriate to lick the icing off first?

    Reply
  • 9. tgaw  |  December 2, 2007 at 1:15 am

    A Goatse Cookie update:

    Earlier this week, my older dog got into the Christmas Cookies. He ate them ALL except for one.

    The Goatse Cookie remained completely untouched.

    Even the dog doesn’t want to eat that cookie!

    Reply
  • 10. Carolyn  |  December 2, 2007 at 10:47 am

    hahhah, that’s hilarious!!!

    Reply
  • 11. John  |  December 21, 2010 at 10:15 am

    So I found this while googling “Goatse Cookie”. This is outstanding.

    Reply

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