Sentimental Text Messages

January 31, 2007 at 1:31 am 5 comments

I need to clean out the Inbox of my cell phone.  While I was at it, I thought I would highlight some of the messages that have stood the test of time and, to provide a little glimpse into my soul, why they’ve been saved for so long.

Henry’s Poor Navigation (or Jimmie’s Good Aim)

From: ICE Sean
Sent: Jul 20 [2005], 9:53 AM

Jimmie peed on Henry’s head

This message has the honor of being the oldest one saved on my phone.  I’m not sure why I’ve kept it so long.  I think I like the story potential.  Say a girlfriend comments on a romantic gesture of her spouse.  I can compete with that. 

“Oh my husband’s romantic too,” I can claim, “Take a look at some of the messages he leaves me!”

This particular message’s story potential went up immensely last summer when I received a very similiar text message:

From: ICE Sean
Sent: Jun 16 [2006], 5:48 PM

Jimmie peed right on henry’s head

I’ve spoken before about Henry’s inability to learn.  Navigating around a urine stream seems to be another lesson that alludes him.

Andy and the Naked Fat Man

From: Andy B
Sent: Oct 20 [2005] 5:24 PM

I picked up your CD – I will have it at larrys if you dont make it ill give it to sean

I saved this because it reminds me how sweet Andy is.  The CD he is referring to is Bloodhound Gang’s Hefty Fine CD.  Typically when a CD I covet comes out, I’ll tell Sean and he’ll pick it up for me the next time he goes to the CD store.  I’ve secured many a NOFX CD that way.  Well this time the plan backfired.  When I submitted my seemingly innocent request to Sean, he balked.

“No!  Are you kidding me?!?  Have you seen the cover?  It’s disgusting– I don’t want to be seen buying that!”

He pulled up the cover on the Internet and sure enough, it’s not the most pleasing image to the eye.   Basically it is a large naked man sitting in a cardboard box (Click here to see for yourself).

The afternoon of the Virginia Tech-Miami game, work was sparsely populated and filled with people leaving early (as is typical for Thursday night games).  Andy was about to leave work and talking about last minute preparations for our tailgate and he mentioned he was stopping by Target.

“Oh you’re stopping by Target?” I said, “There’s a CD I want, do you mind picking it up for me?”

Now, I would rank Andy as more religious than I.  I would rank Andy as more conservative than I.  I would certainly peg Andy as an individual who would prefer to not look at naked fat men.  So in my mind, as I telling him the album title, I was already finding amusement imagining Andy innocently walking down to the music section of Target with the usual spring in his stride.  I can see him navigating down the inventory to “B’s” and suddenly spotting the CD he committed to buy.  It was going to be hilarious.

But there was a kink in the plan.

“Sure,” Andy said, “Let me pull it up real quick so I know what I’m looking for.”

Before I could think of a means to distract him, the album covered was displaying on his screen.

“OH, NO WAY IN HELL!!!!” Andy exclaimed.

I accepted my defeat… and then suddenly about an hour later I got that text message.  It turns out Andy went ahead and picked up the CD anyway– even though he found the cover so distasteful.  I still find that purchase touching.   

Andy’s followup message is also saved and explains how he managed such a feat:

Fr: Andy B
Sent: Oct 25 [2005] 5:26 PM

I held the cover down and set it on the cashier counter like it was ledmans

Sean Remembers Grandma Turnock

From: ICE Sean
Sent:  May 6 [2006] 5:45 PM

I bet you a dollar on sinister minister winning 

Sean was in Charlotte visiting the Vandervorts while I was still in Blacksburg.  It was right before the Kentucky Derby when I got that message and my heart still melts to read it. 

When I was younger, my grandmother would have a Kentucky Derby party at her house.  A number of her lady friends, including Rebecca Randolph, would come over and everyone, regardless of generation, would pick a horse and bet a dollar.  Every year I talk about how I want to get something similiar going as an hommage and every year I never quite make it happen.  This particular day, I had forgotten the Derby was even on, until Sean sent his text message already betting me a dollar.  I quickly pulled up the Internet and picked a horse of my own and sent my bet to Sean through text message as well.  Both of our horses lost, but that didn’t matter, for that day even though Sean was in a totally different state, he kept my grandmother’s memory alive and well.

Sean Needs Help (Cleaning Up Diarrhea)
I was at the beach in 2005 and Sean was still in Blacksburg when I received this gem:

From: ICE Sean
Sent: Aug 4 [2005] 12:37 AM

Henry spray pooped all over the computer room. 

I laughed and I’m sure I expressed my condolences to poor Sean.  And I filed this away as another romantic message I could taunt my girlfriends with.  What woman wouldn’t envy such sentiment?

Little did I know this message was going to get better.  I was driving home from Delaware and was nearing home.  My arrival was imminent when I got this message:

From: ICE Sean
Sent: Aug 6 [2005] 11:22 AM

Henry’s diarrhea is still on the floor.  I did not leave it for you to clean up but I do need help with how to clean it.

I can laugh now at this one.  Check the timestamps– he left diarrhea on the floor for two days!  A lot of questions come to mind.  Did he keep on using the computer room?  What did Henry think of his work being preserved?  I certainly wasn’t laughing, however, when I got home and I was having to saturate dried diarrhea with Resolve in order to seperate it from the carpet fibers.

Jay Dupes Vicky From Hawaii
Earlier this year, Sean and I traveled to Boston.  It was cold and rainy when we arrived.  I sent a text message to my brother saying something along the lines of “Greetings from Boston.  It is cold and rainy here.”  A little while later, my brother responded:

From: Jay
Sent: Oct 11 [2006] 9:10 PM

Salutations from hawaii its  rainy and cold here too 

“Wow!” I thought and was about to tell the others that Hawaii was no different.  Suddenly my phone vibrated again.

From: Jay
Sent: Oct 11 [2006] 9:11 PM


Sean Breaks 90
Got this one this past summer:

From: ICE Sean
Sent: Aug 19 [2006] 6:02 PM

I shot my best score ever today!  Broke 90 for the first time.  89!  I am so excited! 

Sean’s referring to his golf game.  I kept this because I can relate to his happiness.  When I finished my RATC patch and when I got up my very first 14er, I commemorated the event via a text message to Sean.  I know how excited I am at those moments when I key the news in and I bet Sean was even more excited when he wrote that message to me.  And that makes me happy.

Sean and Vicky Think Alike
Finally, a message from Sean when I told him my favorite part of one of his websites:

From: ICE Sean
Sent: Sep 20 [2006] 7:26 PM

THANK YOU!  You are the first to recognize it.  I was so disappointed until you said that!

Sean and I do have seperate interests, seperate hobbies and a lot of evenings we go our own ways.  But, every now and then I get a reminder that despite our differences, our minds still work similiarly.   Humor can fall in that category too.  There are some things that are downright hilarious to Sean and I that barely solicit a giggle from others.  If any of you have heard either of us try to relay the ill-fated “Dumping Turds” story, you’ll know what I’m talking about. 

Anyway, I’ve kept this message because even though he golfs and I hike, or I’m in Delaware and he’s home or I’m at home and he’s in Charlotte or even though we have differing opinions on dog diarrhea disposal…. we still see, appreciate and talk about a lot of the same things.  We still have a common ground. 

Heck at the very least, we’ll always have text messaging.  🙂

Entry filed under: Andy B, Bloodhound Gang, Grandma Turnock, Henry, Jay, Jimmie, Ledman, NOFX, Rebecca Randolph, Sean.

Something the Thru-Hikers Miss Counting Chickens, Snow and Calories

5 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Clint  |  January 31, 2007 at 12:55 pm

    That’s very lame (in my book) for both of them to not pick up the cd because OMG “GAY” COVER. Grow up, guys. Oh yea: And why are you still buying cds at record stores anyway? I haven’t done that since last millenium. 😀

    Not cleaning up poop, tho, I can agree with 😀

    He misspelled “psyche”. You made fun of me for using that before!

  • 2. tgaw  |  January 31, 2007 at 4:05 pm

    Haha. I suspect if pressed, Sean would have bought the CD…. and Andy, Andy still bought it. I remain amazed. I’m pretty far behind the bell curve. My main means of music is listening to it on a CD player I bought with my first summer job (so like 1994 or 1995). Sean at least has an iPod. I need to get with the program before technology sneaks away from me and I have no idea how to use anything.

    I felt I should keep Jay’s original spelling to stay true to the message. 🙂

  • 3. Clint  |  January 31, 2007 at 5:26 pm

    gah… haven’t had a working cd player in over 5 yrs. they are not worth the money, and best buy did not honor their extended warrantee IN THE SLIGHTEST

  • 4. Previous Post Updates « TGAW  |  February 13, 2007 at 12:00 am

    […] Sentimental Text Messages Dang, I had good timing with this post.  Last night my phone died.  The display would only display white.  I could still place calls and hear the other party, but I could not receive calls or do anything that required the display– which includes my beloved text messaging.  Luckily, I was eligible for my two year phone upgrade so I went ahead and got an LG enV.  Although Verizon was able to transfer my contacts, my saved messages and my pictures were lost.  No big loss– my favorites were already documented on my blog.  […]

  • 5. Remember Grandma. Pick A Horse. « TGAW  |  May 4, 2007 at 10:24 pm

    […] doesn’t quite give you enough organization time.  Last year, I had forgotten again, but Sean text messaged me from Charlotte with his pick and I had just enough time to scramble and pick a horse before the race.  But this year, this year […]


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