Dogs vs. Honor Students

June 1, 2006 at 12:40 am 1 comment

The very first time I saw one of those "My [Insert Dog Breed Here] is Smarter Than Your Honor Student" bumper stickers, it was on my friend Jennie's car.  Honestly, I found the bumper sticker hilarious and fitting.  She had an Australian Shepard.  I accompanied Jennie and her dog to a number of Fly Ball and Agility classes and I can say without a doubt that the dog is extremely intelligent (not to mention fast).  

Last week, I was driving along 460 and I saw a variation of the bumper sticker.  "My Pug is Smarter Than Your Honor Student".  Okay, I'm not too familiar with pugs.  It seemed a bit of a stretch, but I let it slide.

Today, it's gone too waaaay too far.  I got an email from CafePress advertising "Beagle Products".  CafePress is a website where users can upload their own images and make products such as mugs, T-shirts, and even dog-hiking calendars.  So I clicked on the link to see what the beagle lovers had come up with.   I only perused 3 of the 68 pages of beagle products.  Lo and behold, each page sported a "My Beagle is Smarter Than Your Honor Student" bumper sticker.

My Beagle is Smarter Than Your Honor Student 

Okay— so I have a beagle.  And I love this animal to death, I really do.  But, let's be honest.  Intelligence is not a strong suit of the breed.  Beagles are cute.  Beagles are cuddly.  Beagles aren't very destructive.  Beagles are loyal.  Beagles are good with children.  And Beagles can do amazing things with their talents– the USDA's Beagle Brigade sniffs out people bringing illegal food into the country.  But I still wouldn't quite classify them as "smart". 

Vicky and Henry

Here's a true story from this very morning!  I walk Henry out into the yard and suddenly he starts gagging and pawing at his mouth.  This is a common occurence– I knew exactly what the problem was.  When Henry came out into the yard, he picked up a stick– and when he chomped down on it, the sides chopped off, making it the exact perfect size to get lodged in the roof of his mouth.  So I worked through our usual routine.  I pried open Henry's mouth, looked in and confirmed there was a stick held securely in place by his upper teeth, I reached in and yanked it out.

Now, let's overlook the fact that Henry has faced this same discomfort numerous times in his past.  I can grant him some level of forgetfulness.  But this morning, after I extracted the stick, I threw the slimy thing on the ground.  The first thing Henry does?  He lunges for the stick again! 

If you need more evidence– I can tell you tales of how after 7 years he is still afraid of the same halogen lamp… or what happened once when he had full access to a 16 pound bag of dog food… or how many times he is arooing at a noise and facing the the wrong way… or his sporadic display of house-breaking skills.

Nonetheless, I love that guy.  It's a realistic love– I am well aware of his flaws. 

I adore him as is.

P.S.  Odds are, My Beagle Can Out Hike Your Honor Student! 🙂

Entry filed under: Beagles, Henry.

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1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Shannon  |  November 18, 2009 at 9:01 pm

    I totally know what you mean about beagles being all the good things you said, but maybe you just got an unusually dimwitted beagle… Then again, maybe I just have an unusually bright one (he’s also unusually quiet). Mine is 9 months old and surprises us regularly with his intelligence. It’s so fun to watch him figure out a new puzzle toy or pick up a new command in just a few repetitions. Sometimes he is a bit too smart. He quickly figured out when I put a head collar on him that if he turns his head away from me and tightens his neck he can keep the collar from pulling him around.


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