Here’s an amusing stock photo captioned by the “It’s Like They Know Us” Tumblr Blog.
For those of you with computers and without small children, it’s funny because it’s not true. My children, in particular, have a keen sense of when I’m working on something really important on the computer. They will both drop everything and approach my machine, sticky fingers widespread.
When I see them tettering my way, know what the first thing I do is? I quickly unplug my USB mouse. While they are distracted moving that around and doing futile clicks, I have just enough time to sign out of the production database server, save important documents, or move the laptop to a higher elevation. By the time they realize the mouse isn’t doing anything, the laptop (and all my production data!) are safe.
I was enacting that one day and I realized I’m wasn’t particularly inventive. I was employing the exact same defense mechanism salamanders and seemingly other “lower” creatures have used for millions of years.
I drop the USB mouse to distract the predator. The salamander drops its tail. : )
Salamander Dropping Tail (Photo by Gary Nafis of California Herps)
Distracted Modern Day Predator
Like all toddlers, my oldest son has his fair share of emotional moments. And like a lot of mothers, I often find myself perusing various “Mommy Blogs” on the Internet. Somewhere along the line, I read an article (whose author completely alludes me at the moment) that talked about how kids need to feel safe to express their emotions–positive AND negative. When Sagan is upset, we often “take a lap.” One of us carries him in the circle through the rooms on our second floor. Inspired by that now nameless article, I started to sing a simple little song to the tune of Frère Jacques:
You’re my Sagan
You’re my Sagan
I love you
I love you
Even when you’re fussypants
Even when you’re fussypants
I love you
I love you
Well Sagan isn’t especially communicative when he’s upset. He would just sort of zone out and sniff, occassionally wiping his nose against my shoulder. Really, I didn’t think he even noticed the song. Then one day, he bumped his knee and I had the nerve to switch it up a bit and sing Elvis instead.
“No! no!” His crying intensified. “The fussypants song! I want the fussypants song.”
Now that’s our thing. When he’s upset, I’ll ask him, “Do you need a lap?”
“Do you need a song?”
“Fussypants song.” he’ll croak out.
I’ll carry him a few laps and sing our song.
I have failed miserably at getting it on video, but Sagan has a stuffed monkey he occassionally plays with. He does baby stuff with it– puts on diapers, feeds it, etc. On a few occassions, I have spied Sagan hugging it and singing the Fussypants Song. It’s super adoreable, but super elusive. Everytime I bring the camera out, the moment subsides.
BUT– two weeks ago, I heard Sagan singing the Fussypants Song to Dyson and I did have success convincing Sagan to sing a few bars for the camera. Sagan’s version of the Fussypants song. Enjoy!
Sometime ago, Ryan and I were walking with the kids and he told about an interesting Ted Talk on “Arguing”. It was by Philisopher Daniel H. Cohen and he talks about the winners and losers in arguments. Traditionally we think of someone winning an argument and someone losing an argument. But Cohen suggests that it is the “loser” of the argument that actually walks away with the biggest gain. The winner walks away with nothing but a stroked ego. The loser on the other hand, walks away with a new belief– a “well articulated, examined, battle-tested belief.”
Last week, I was working on a Washington Post crossword puzzle and a whole section stumped me. After revisting the clues again and again without any new insight, I surrendered and decided to Google on my phone. It was, in my mind, the act of defeat. The act of a loser.
The very first clue I decided to Google was “Vanzetti’s Co-Defendant”. And just that like that I was enthralled. The rest of the evening, I found myself immersed in and fascinated by The Sacco and Vanzetti Trials of the 1920s, almost a century ago now. I read account after account until it was well past my bedtime. I read about the questionable aspects of their trials and conviction. I read about the world-wide protests, how renowed personalities such as Albert Einstein and H.G. Wells signed petitions urging another trial. I was surprised (and somewhat amused) at how generations before Johnnie Cochran and O.J. Simpson, there was another famous trial that prominently featured an article of clothing being too small.
Sacco Tries on a Hat, Simpson Tries on Gloves
Source: Boston Post
I never returned to my crossword that night. Days later, those boxes remain glaringly empty. But with a wealth of new information in my mind, I’m having a tough time feeling like I lost.
In mid-August, Ryan and I took the boys to Warrenton, Virginia for an afternoon at the DC Skydiving Center. Don’t worry– we didn’t take a 3 year old and 1 year old skydiving. We’re not that adventurous. : )
My friend Meg is fighting cancer for a second time. One of the long-standing items on her Bucket List was to go skydiving. I absolutely did not want to jump out of a plane. No way. But you know what I can do? I can *pay* for someone else to jump out of a plane! (This was made even easier by a serendipitous Groupon). Meg’s longtime friend, Karen, also jumped. Meanwhile, Ryan, the kids, and I watched from the ground. Meg was relaxed and at ease the whole time (She reports skydiving is no where near as scary as cancer). Karen, on the other hand, seemed to be a tad nervous.
They were both equally ecstatic after the jump and concur it was thrilling and peaceful at the same time. I even heard the phrase “life-changing” when they would re-describe their experiences in the coming days. See also Meg’s recap from her CaringBridge site.
As for the Sommas, even though we stayed put on the ground, the DC Skydiving Center was a fabulous adventure for the kids. In an intimate and disarming setting (so disarming I actually thought, “Huh, maybe I could do this too.”), we got to watch people learn their skydiving basics. We were right there when the plane took off and landed which was a huge thrill for Sagan. We got to watch the sky for the tiny black dots after the plane passed by and we got to watch those dots get bigger and bigger. Eventually the skydivers would land right smack in front of us. And 1 year old Dyson? It turns out skydiving instructors can also make great playmates.
If you think about, our family adventure that day was watching someone else’s adventure. But it was just as fun as our usual Sunday adventures… and more fulfilling.
More photos of our visit to the DC Skydiving Center are on my Flickr site.
P.S. Ryan’s already talking about taking the boys skydiving…when Dyson turns 18.
In late April, we took the boys to visit the Elizabeth Hartwell Mason Neck Wildlife Refuge Area. The Elizabeth Hartwell Mason Neck Wildlife Area encompasses 2000 acres of hardwood forests and six miles of Potomac River shoreline, which means hikes there get a nice mixture of marsh and forest. So “Woodmarsh” was an accurate name for the trail. The Elizabeth Hartwell Mason Neck Wildlife Refuge is free. There is an entrance fee if you choose to drive to the nearby Mason Neck State Park afterwards.
The Woodmarsh Trail is about three miles long. With a couple of cut-through trails at Hickory Pass and Fern Pass, you have the ability to “Choose Your Own Adventure” and loop back whenever you feel like it. We took the Spur Trail down to Eagle Point and since we were hoping to see Great Blue Heron nests (See Fauna below), we kept on the eastern most section of trail to skirt along the marsh. We returned via the western section of trail through the woods.
Back when I hiked alone, my decision criteria for “a good trail” would be something like:
- Invigorating climb (to make you feel accomplished)
- An overlook or a waterfall (to make you feel awed)
Now that I’m hiking with two small children, a previously overlooked trail feature has taken on new importance:
- Bridges or wooden walkways.
Wooden structures just call to my older son. He loves running across them. Sometimes over and over and over and over again. : ) For younger children who are just learning to stand and pull up, bridges are a nice opportunity to practice. This trail sported a number of bridges so it was a win for the boys. And then more importantly, there was a nice wooden viewing platform at Eagle’s Point. That simple structure was probably the highlight of the trail for the boys. It was wooden with benches for the boys to climb and crawl on… AND it had a FREE telescope to take in the views. It was their own little private jungle gym with great water views. We only had to walk a flat mile for a “home run.”
The Elizabeth Hartwell Mason Neck Wildlife Refuge is one of the largest Blue Heron Rookeries. Nesting peaks in April and May, so we came hoping to see one of those 1300 Great Blue Heron nests. Alas, nesting views can only be approached through water or during the annual Bald Eagle Festival at the nearby Mason Neck State Park. We couldn’t see any nests from our vantage point on the land. Nonetheless, we saw our fair share of wildlife. We saw herons and Bald Eagles flying by. We saw a large brown bird (perhaps an an owl) in the tree canopies. Small, but just as entertaining, we found an inch worm at the viewing platform at Eagle Point.
Mayapples are a favorite wildflower of mine. I love how the big umbrella leaves conceal a tiny, single white flower underneath. We saw Mayapples on this hike and they were budding, but we were just a little bit too early to see the blooms.
What we did seem blooming was Virginia’s State Flower, the dogwood.
The trail passed through a section called “Fern Pass.” Our assessment was that was aptly named. It was one of the more beautiful sections, carpetted in green, with the fiddleheads uncurling away.
More pictures of our Woodmarsh Trail Hike at Elizabeth Hartwell Mason Neck Wildlife Refuge can be found on my Flickr site.
Length: Varies – 3.0 Miles of Trail to Choose From
Elevation Gain: Flat!
Entrance Fee: FREE!
When I was a child, one of the highlights of the beach was heading down to the boardwalk at nearby Rehobeth Beach. My favorite thing was the “Horsey Game” at Funland (I believe the game is officially called “Derby”) Contenders roll balls (sort of like skeeball without the ball going airborne). The hole your ball goes down determines how many steps your plastic race horse takes. The first person’s horse to make it to the end wins a prize.
This year, Sagan was old enough. I wanted him to see the horsey game. August 1st was our last day at the beach, so it was now or never. It turns out a number of family member were interested in Funland. We ended up with quite the crowd of relatives up there! : )
My mother spent some quality time with Dyson, while I had some rare Mommy-Sagan time. I was determined Mommy-Sagan time was going to involve a prize, by golly. Not just any prize, a Horsey Game prize. En route to the Horsey Game, we stopped and played Wak-A-Mole. We won a cute white stuffed dog.
Onward to the Horsey Game. It was $1 a game. I was going to spend up to $20 dollars, maybe even more, playing that game to win a prize. Luckily, it only took four games. Sagan sat on my lap the entire time and at times opted to roll the ball. It was fun to share that with him. When we did win, he got to pick between two different bears.
Win prizes for my son? Check. I met my day’s goal. Everything else was going to be bonus.
We ate some lunch and then headed back to Funland. All of a sudden Sagan wanted to ride some rides. Another Funland memory came rushing back to me. My father used to get terribly motion sick. So back in the day, whenever we came to Funland, my younger (and more courageous) brother would point to some kind of crazy spinning, flipping, rotating contraption and announce, “Daddy, I want to ride that.”
Well, it would not have positive results for my father to ride with him, so each time my father’s voice would snap out my name, “Vicky! Take your brother on that ride!”
I wouldn’t want to ride those rides, but I also didn’t want to disobey my father, so I would reluctantly do my duty as the big sister.
Some of that same ancient dread snuck back in when Sagan asked for rides. It took me a moment, but then I realized, “Wait a second. He’s a little kid. I can handle little kid rides.” : ) And it turned out Sagan didn’t need *me*. He was perfectly happy going on rides with his beach buddy, Mya.
Funland is VERY young-child friendly. They have a whole section of rides dedicated to the smaller children where the young kids can even go by themselves without an adult or older child. In addition, they have games where the child gets to play until he/she finally wins. This came in handy with the balloon pop game for Sagan.
Funland did an excellent job of tiring both boys out. When we got back to the beach house, they both napped at the same time… AGAIN. Ah, I love vacation. While they napped, I packed. My mother and I had decided it would be best to travel at night while the children slept.
We had one final supper with my extended family– a delicious array of pasta. After supper was over, we hit the road.
Smooth Trip Home
Traveling after the kids’ bedtime was definitely the way to go! We had a very smooth trip home and it was swift. It took us less than half the time to get home as it did to get to the beach. Oh and those Funland prizes? Sagan cuddled with them in his car seat the entire way home. : )
Body Pump, Seltzer Water, and Gingerale
So the day before at Sea Colony, I was looking over some of their literature and I squealed with delight to see that they had a BodyPump class. Not only that, there was a BodyPump class the very next day!!! At home, BodyPump is one of my favorite parts of the week. How amazing that I can attend a class at the beach! My Uncle generously allowed me to borrow his passes so I could attend the class. I love BodyPump so much, I talked it up, as one is very apt to do when something super fun like BodyPump is concerned, and my cousin Jennifer decided to join me. Knowing how much I love BodyPump, my mother agreed to watch the boys and away we went to Sea Colony to pick up fitness passes and attend the class.
My great Aunt Maisie is a woman in her eighties, but she carries with a childlike curiosity and enthusiasm for the world. She sees everything with an innocence you would expect to find in someone decades younger. Earlier in the week the topic of Seltzer Water came up. Great Aunt Maisie told a simple story about a time she was in the airport and got a soda. She thought it was Gingerale, but it was actually Seltzer Water.
With wide eyes and that innocent, pure voice of hers, she talked about that first unexpected sip.
“And ooooooh my,” she shook her head, “It wasn’t Gingerale!”
When you are expecting something sweet like Gingerale, and you get Seltzer Water, it’s quite a shock. It doesn’t mean Seltzer Water is bad, mind you (I’m a fan). It just means you were expecting something different. And it tastes worst than it is just because of your expectations.
Back to our BodyPump adventure, I had noticed that BodyPump class at the beach was only 45 minutes long, but I didn’t think much of it. I also failed to notice that the schedule read “Body Pump” instead of “BodyPump” and that at no point was Les Mill’s branding touted.
We showed up and paid our seven dollars and I promptly noticed there were no bars.
“Huh. I guess we just use free weights here,” I thought, still oblivious that the Gingerale I was about to drink was, in fact, Seltzer water.
They wanted us to get Exercise Balls, which I also shrugged off, “Oh I guess this is going to be our T-bows for tricep dips.”
Then the warm-up began. There were no squats. We weren’t doing it in time to the music. Wha– you want me to kick my feet out?
All the signs were there all along, but it took me until then to realize I wasn’t at Les Mills BodyPump.
I was miffed. There was some pride involved because I enticed my cousin to come. But really, what I was most upset about was wasting my “mom babysitting time.” During our first set of biceps (which Hello…. everyone knows that Biceps are supposed to come later at Track 6) I drafted my stern letter in my head to Sea Colony Recreation because it was entirely out of the realm of possibility that I read what I wanted to read. ;)
But then here’s the thing. Exercise (at least for me) makes everything better. As my body started moving and my muscles started working, my mood improved. It wasn’t Les Mills’ BodyPump, but it was fun and it was a solid workout. My abs were sore the next day. And my cousin had fun too.
Gingerale/Seltzer Water/BodyPump/Body Pump, it’s all good. : )
Lunch and Another Compliment
I solicited another compliment from a different Aunt about my kids’ eating habits. My Aunt Julie marveled at Sagan eating an avocado and concluded, “You’re so healthy!” Score!
I took the kids down for some more beach time. When Sagan tired of the beach, he just started walking home all by himself. I was curious to see how far he would go by himself, so I quietly tailed him. I couldn’t believe that kid didn’t even look back until our entire family was out of sight. Boy, he was unnervingly determined to escape the beach! : )
Once he saw me, he wanted his shoes, but he didn’t want to go back to the beach to get him, so he sat on a bench with my cousin Jennifer while I fetched his footwear. When I came back to the bench, I could hear them talking.
“Really?” Jennifer said, “Banana cake?”
“Yeah!” Sagan replied, “It was yellow and orange.”
And I had to laugh. In June, we went to a friends’ birthday party and they had a healthy banana cake for dessert. Sagan talked about that banana cake for an entire month and how he wanted it for his birthday. My friend gave me the recipe and he got his birthday wish. Apparently it went well because here he was at the beach STILL talking about banana cake. It was good, maybe like average good. I didn’t realize it was good enough to talk about for months. : )
Every year at the beach, our extended family gets together for a loud and boisterous fancy dinner at Magnolia’s Seafood. I remember in 2007, I had a little bit of vanity going on. The entire week I was meticulous with the sunscreen. Not because of skin cancer or the likes. Nope, I just wanted to make sure I didn’t get sunburnt before the family dinner. I wanted to look good for the pictures. This year I didn’t even shower for the family dinner! (TMI – I only showered once at the beach and that was with a baby throwing shampoo bottles in the bath tub). But I did give both boys baths. : )
Dyson stayed on the beach with my mother while I took Sagan back to the beach house. I bathed Sagan and he went down for a nap. By the time Sagan was sleeping, Dyson and my Mom came home, so then I bathed Dyson and he went down for a nap, while Sagan was still napping. Double Nap AGAIN. BOOYAH!
So really my afternoon was pretty much bathing kids. : )
Fun fact– did you know you can’t do Lasik eye surgery when you are breastfeeding? The breastfeeding hormones can have an effect on your eyes, so they prefer to wait to map your eyes until at least six weeks after weaning. I found that out with my first child, so my game plan has been after Dyson is weaned perhaps getting that Lasik surgery.
Family dinner is making me reconsider that notion. I wore contacts to the family dinner and apparently I looked especially tired and frazzled. A few people mentioned it. I hypothesize when one has glasses on, it better camouflages fatigue. I was tired, but I’m always tired (I still night nurse). I didn’t feel any more or less tired than your usual day. Mitigating the two kids was hectic with the particular challenge of our entrees arriving well after our usual bedtime. I certainly didn’t have a lot of ample time to socialize or take pictures, but I didn’t feel overwhelmed (that would come the next day) and I had plenty of friendly faces and helping hands around. Even my child-free-by-choice sister pitched in!
At the end of the night, though, as I loaded two tired and cranky kids into the carseats, one of my aunts told me she felt sorry for me.
Well, poop. My outward appearance was terribly misleading. For years I attended Family Dinners without the children I wanted so very much, but with that special type of nagging loneliness that comes with being committed to someone who doesn’t care. Here I am in 2014 with all those missing pieces– An amazing husband who is a partner in every way and the children I was scared I would never have. I have everything right now… except maybe a full night’s sleep and a shower, but it is so worth it. : )
“There’s nothing to feel sorry for. I wanted to have children. I am blessed,” I told my aunt. Hopefully I sounded convincing. : )
Maybe next year I should wear glasses… and makeup. Perhaps makeup will help. : )
Most Pleasant Night Night
And dude— we got home again well before everyone else. AGAIN– a most pleasant night night. Both kids went to sleep right away!